My child gets very emotional when things don't go his way. How do I help?

Help your child label emotions so they become aware of them. Discipline the behaviour, not the feeling — stay calm, avoid reinforcing outbursts, and give attention and praise for calm moments.

Teachers say my child can't sit still in class. What can I do?

Check common triggers first — sleep, diet (high sugar), or an underlying learning difficulty. Morning physical play helps 'use up' energy, and a simple reward chart can support focus. If it persists, ask for an assessment.

My child screams at the barber. What should I do?

Identify the trigger (often the razor's sound or touch), change the setting (try haircuts at shower time), use distraction, role-play with toy scissors first, and build up in small, gradual steps.

My child climbs and jumps from dangerous heights. How do I teach him it's unsafe?

Calmly stop the behaviour, explain the consequence simply, and redirect to a safe alternative that meets the same need (like a trampoline or crash mat). Be consistent every time.

How do I help with hand-flapping or finger-flicking?

These behaviours usually serve a purpose — expressing excitement or seeking sensory input. Rather than simply stopping it, teach an appropriate way to express the feeling and offer an alternative sensory activity that meets the same need.

Behaviour & Emotions

When your child melts down: what to do in the moment (and after)

Creator: Therapaeds Clinical Psychology Team
Published: 2026-05-31

A calm, practical playbook for the hard moments — how to respond during a meltdown, how to repair afterwards, how to spot triggers, and when to seek help.

By Therapaeds Clinical Psychology Team, Clinical Psychologists6 min read✓ Clinically reviewed

Your child is screaming on the supermarket floor and everyone is looking. In that moment you don't need a theory of behaviour, you need to know what to do. This is a practical playbook for the hard moments, and for what comes after.

In the moment: 4 things that help

Steady yourself first. Take a breath. Your calm is the strongest tool you have; your stress pours fuel on theirs.
Keep everyone safe. If needed, move your child somewhere safer and quieter. Safety before any lesson.
Connect before you correct. Get low, soften your voice, and name the feeling: “You're so upset we had to leave.” This isn't rewarding the behaviour; it's helping the brain settle.
Use fewer words. A flooded child can't process a lecture. Wait for the wave to pass before explaining anything.

After the storm: repair and teach

Once your child is calm (and not a second before), reconnect with a hug or a quiet moment, then briefly name what happened and a better option for next time. Keep it short and kind. The lesson lands far better in calm than in chaos.

Spot the triggers

Many meltdowns are predictable once you look. Hunger, tiredness, transitions and sensory overload are the usual suspects, so a quick mental run through those four catches most of them. Adjusting routines around these triggers prevents far more storms than any in-the-moment trick.

Build the skills when everyone is calm

Self-regulation is a skill that grows with practice, and it can't be taught mid-meltdown. During calm times, name feelings together, practise belly breaths or a quiet corner, and praise your child when they manage a wobble well. You're rehearsing for the next hard moment before it arrives.

When to seek support

Talk to a professional if, compared with other children the same age, the outbursts are much more frequent, intense or long-lasting, involve hurting themselves or others, persist well beyond the toddler years, or are getting in the way of friendships, school or family life. Seeking help early gives your child tools sooner.

Sources

This guide is for general information and isn't a substitute for individual professional advice.

Common questions about behaviour & emotions

My child gets very emotional when things don't go his way. How do I help?: Help your child label emotions so they become aware of them. Discipline the behaviour, not the feeling — stay calm, avoid reinforcing outbursts, and give attention and praise for calm moments.
Teachers say my child can't sit still in class. What can I do?: Check common triggers first — sleep, diet (high sugar), or an underlying learning difficulty. Morning physical play helps 'use up' energy, and a simple reward chart can support focus. If it persists, ask for an assessment.
My child screams at the barber. What should I do?: Identify the trigger (often the razor's sound or touch), change the setting (try haircuts at shower time), use distraction, role-play with toy scissors first, and build up in small, gradual steps.
My child climbs and jumps from dangerous heights. How do I teach him it's unsafe?: Calmly stop the behaviour, explain the consequence simply, and redirect to a safe alternative that meets the same need (like a trampoline or crash mat). Be consistent every time.
How do I help with hand-flapping or finger-flicking?: These behaviours usually serve a purpose — expressing excitement or seeking sensory input. Rather than simply stopping it, teach an appropriate way to express the feeling and offer an alternative sensory activity that meets the same need.

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